It will never be me.
I’ve tried.
I’ve made the homemade laundry detergent. The cake pops that are supposed to look like cats. The no-sew skirt. Even tried to put on makeup the right way.
But apparently, that’s not me.
Which doesn’t make it any less of a dreamy dream to BE that Pinterest mom. The one who has the perfect hair, the perfect makeup, the perfect physique with the appropriately perfect Lulu Lemon workout clothes (correct-I *could* buy some, but i’m cheap). The one who signs up for everything the teacher needs, the minute the list is released. The one who creates the perfect class art project and cooks a perfect dinner for her perfect family every night, after she gets home from her high-powered job (because yes, in my occasionally-spiteful mental image, this perfect woman is not only making the hearth homey, she’s killing it as an executive as well).
In my moments of clarity (aka after just one really good craft vodka cocktail), I realize she’s pretty much not real at all.
She’s a concoction created by social media. By the incessant need to be perfect in the eyes of others.
You don’t see her at 3am when she’s either cleaning up kid vomit or cat vomit (bless her, no one wishes those to happen simultaneously). You don’t see her at the END of the workout when she’s really kinda wishing she’d had the C-section delivery (if you have to ask what that means, I’m not telling. Seriously. It’s the side effect of children that no one warned you about.). You don’t see her picking the moldy corners off the bread because the bus is coming in 1 minute and there is nothing else to fill the lunchbox.
If you knew those things? You’d love her. She’d be your spirit animal (somebody please, tell me how that phrase came into being. I’m turning into a middle-aged person who says that it’s ‘what the young people say.’). You’d be nodding along in solidarity with her woes.
Why does she hide from you?
Being a Realtor, I see that social media has turned many of my people into the Pinterest Mom types. (You men, too. There is no gender exclusivity here.)
All y’all talk about online are the positives. Or the fabricated. (Honestly, one can’t make up the crazy stuff we see in real estate, so the fabricated tends to be related to production which just makes me shake my head.)
How many Realtors do you know? How many post one of the following at least weekly:
– Houses are flying off the shelves! I sold my last house! Let me know if you need to sell!
– Interest rates are at historic lows! Buy now before you miss out!
– Just showed 29 houses today and boy, do i need a glass of wine!
– I just had my 18th closing for the month! I’m #Blessed.
– I’m having an open house/broker open house at XXX and people are going to be fighting over it!
According to the National Association of Realtors, the average Realtor sells 10 properties per year… so let’s do the math. That’s not even one house per month. Which means that the other stat- that of the median income of the 1.3mm Realtors being $39,200 makes sense. That amount pays the bills in some areas, but in others that’s below the poverty line.
So why the non-stop talk on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat about all of these houses?
Is it related to the same desire that drives the Pinterest Moms to overpost their awesomeness? That need to be perceived as the absolute best, in hopes that posting in that way is going to create that reality?
The Power of Positive Thinking, The Secret, Prayer of Jabez, anything by the Osteens, they’re all in the same vein as well. Think and say the positive non-stop and it will happen.
I get it. It works for some people.
For others, though, the non-stop positive posts can be downright depressing. Maybe you’re a mom like me, who gets it right sometimes but not all the time. Maybe you’re a Realtor who is doing her very best to manage the roller coaster of life on 100% commission and you can’t figure out why *they* have it so easy while you struggle.
The real secret is that #TheStruggleIsReal. Most of us who have used that hashtag use it in jest when we know we really shouldn’t be fussing. But think about the words for a minute. If we’d acknowledge to one another and to the world that struggles ARE real, what would change around us?
What would your business look like if the world (which, yes, includes potential clients) knew your ups and downs, so they were able to enjoy and laugh/cry/shake head over the journey with you? I’m not going to lie-my real estate business has grown every time I am more transparent in my professional as well as personal life.
Speaking of which.
Would we be more gracious and kind to one another if we didn’t feel that we were alone in the middle of whatever we are going through? If we didn’t feel like absolute freaks when everyone else is perfect? Would we share more ideas and allow others to lean on our shoulders when the drama unfolds-and in turn, lean on theirs when offered?
Because NO one else is perfect. No one is doing everything right, leaving you in the dust. It’s not you. It’s called life. The ever-changing, messy, unpredictable elements of life.
And that, my friends, is its beauty. Embrace it. Live honestly, live your life. I’ll celebrate with you.
*If you feel so inclined, please feel free to post and share this. Just make sure to tag me and give me credit when you do! =) Leigh